People come and go and it reminds me of that saying... Season, Reason, Lifetime. It's true, people enter your life for a season - they are in and then they are gone
a reason - these people often bring our greatest lessons
a lift time - these are often our ride or die people.
It is fair to say that my life, and who I am as a person has radically changed in the past 10 years and it has been with a curious heart that I have watched who came and who stayed. Who could cope with such radical change and who could not, who wanted me to shut the fuck up and stop sharing my life, my pain and my experiences through my eyes and who wanted to truly understand my story and how I was viewing it. There were those who were my greatest cheerleaders at times and those who are still cheering me on and of course those who moved on. Now all of this is perfectly normal and is what happens in life.
One thing is for sure about this particular journey for me though, and that is that I learned every step of the way about who I am, what I stand and won't stand for, what and who is in alignment with me and what and who is not, who is truly there and who is not. Now these are not always easy revelations to look at and feel into, but look and feel into is a must if you are to understand your energy shifts. And this is exactly what feeling and looking in to these revelations gave me - an understanding of my energy shifts and how that was to show up.
This learning came to me after a conversation I had with a very wonderful and supportive friend. We had been discussing our weekends and I had explained that I had had a very full on weekend and was reflecting on the time I had spent with two particular groups of beautiful people in my life. Just to be clear, I had known the ladies in both of these groups for over 20 years. I was sharing how different those energies between these two groups were. We dove a little deeper into the energetics of it all and what I had noticed and what it had bought up for me and what I was making that mean. Great reflections and great questions.
One group I had not seen for a few years and I had been so excited to see them and spend quality time with them. The other group of friends I had seen irregularly over the past few years- some more than others.
The group that I hadn't seen for a while were asking me if I was OK a lot - I mean like A LOT! I was fine, in fact I was very comfortable and happy to be there with them, so at first I was rather perplexed as to why they were asking me this. Anyway, the night went on and we all had a good time - albeit in a somewhat disjointed way. I found this rather interesting as I love these women - and wondered what was this really about? Had I really changed that much? In my thoughts and feelings on this, I had made it mean that maybe I didn't fit in anymore, maybe they were no longer comfortable with me and maybe I shouldn't go out with them anymore. These thoughts had saddened me.
Now the other group of friends were including each other in the conversation and ensuring everybody was included, heard and understood. conversations flowed effortlessly and it felt like we all knew each others little quirks and there was just this total acceptance of where each other was at and what each other bought to the table. No judgement and no expectations. It was a really lovely night.
Some might say that this is normal in healthy relationships and yes it is, the difference here was that I was experiencing this on a whole new level and I couldn't quite put my finger on it - it just felt different -more aligned than ever before. On the way home in the car with this group, the thought came to me very strongly that these friends were my ride or die friends. Oh how I loved know and feeling this in every fibre of my being. My tribe. This was my tribe, and they had been there all along. I just hadn't realised it before this moment. I hadn't been ready for such a level of acceptance before. It was me who had needed to do the growing, and I had certainly done a shit tonne of that over the past 10 years and in particular, the last three years that's for sure.
So back to the discussion with my friend about these two beautiful groups of women. What my friend said next blew my mind. She said that the first group were used to me feeling a certain way to them, and that the changes I had gone through, meant that to them, I had felt different and that's why they were asking me if I was OK. She went on to explain that those friends had been searching for that feeling and it was no longer there for them. So, yes - I had indeed really changed that much and not it didn't mean what I had made it out to mean.
What I loved about learning this was that I got to see how my changes showed up, not only for me, but also for my friends. I got to see the energy impacts. I got to acknowledge it for what it truly was - growth. I got to accept and embrace this without the berating of self that would have once upon a time gone on due to a lack of understanding and what I had made it mean.
We all change, we all grow. Acknowledging this as an energy shift and understanding that those around you might still be searching for your old energy is priceless knowledge. For me, it made it less personal, less about me, less about them and all about the energy shift. It wasn't what I had made it mean. It wasn't about the outgrowing of anybody or the no longer gelling with long time friends or that I was no longer wanted. It was simply an energy shift. What it allowed me to do was to continue loving my friends and accepting where they at. It allowed me to reassure them that I did indeed still love them, because they were feeling a loss. They had been searching for something that was no longer there but were unable to work out why or what was happening energetically. I imagine that that might have been confusing for them.
So next time the dynamics change in your groups, before you go off and make it mean something it is not, which could cause potential damage, remember the energy shift of change and how that might be showing up for you.
Love Life Big
Big love
Lu xo
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